“My sweet Bellamy Alene, her pregnancy I truly thought would be the death of me. The pregnancy took a toll on me physically, and mostly mentally. Every day was a new challenge I had to face. I literally questioned if my body was actually allergic to giving a little girl life because of how insanely different it was from creating little boys.
Weeks of false labor.
Do I call Ashley and the midwives? Is this it? It felt like it. Almost every weekend I was having pretty intense contractions, but I remained hesitant to call. It just wouldn’t progress. One weekend we even pulled the birth tub out, we just knew it was time… and then nothing. My expectations were so high because I just knew my body knew what to do- and historically speaking that meant deliver these babies at 38 weeks… and our last baby being precipitous labor, I just KNEW with Bellamy it was going to be fast and 38 weeks, or sooner.
Well, the weeks kept coming and going. Here we are at my due date and I went in to see Holly with my head down and just exhausted. I was tired of the tea, the dates, the primrose oil, running and walking and bouncing, omg sex even was a chore at this point. “Ron I just need you to ripen my cervix- let’s go” LOL! The spicy foods, the pineapples, every single old wives tale in the book that I SWORE by getting the boys out.. even caster oil (sorry, Holly). The only thing we had not tried up to my due date was membrane sweep. I actually did not want any cervical checks or messing with my membranes this pregnancy. I wanted to just allow my body to do what it knew how to do… until I was very pregnant and grew more and more anxious day after day.
So on my due date, March 12th, we finally tortured the cervix. Immediately started having intense contractions, bloody show all weekend, sex kicked it up a notch. Then every evening, around dinner time each day- stopped. The most frustrating!! Like what is actually happening?! I started doubting my body. I was so far out of my element at this point. I started actually believing that something had to be wrong with Bellamy for this to be happening, never mind I was just going through a normal pregnancy. I just gave birth so effortlessly to my boys, so when I would hear “she’s not ready” or “your body isn’t ready” I would just freak out.
Monday came and I called for acupuncture! I am actually saying that this day is what ultimately put me into labor. Why? Because that hour talking to Sean and laying down on the table was the most relaxed I have been in years. I even told my husband, if I didn’t go into labor- it wouldn’t matter because that was everything I needed! So shout out to Sean and acupuncture- every momma deserves that relaxation and self care! Even saying that, a couple days came and went and I was still pregnant.
Creeping up on my second appointment for membranes, NST and more head down and just sad, frustrated, exhausted, anxious to meet her, all of the things.
St. Patrick’s day hits and again, all cramping and contractions stopped. I text the few people that had been betting on that day and was like- nope, not today. I just knew she wasn’t coming yet again. I had another good cry. Decided I wasn’t going to stay in bed all day so I got up and started spot cleaning JUST IN CASE I did go into labor- couldn’t let my birth team in with a mess, duh. Had a few contractions here and there but everything inconsistent. I ended up letting my frustration take over and started watching my guilty pleasure, Greys Anatomy, for a few hours and around 2:50 in the afternoon I got up to go to the bathroom. I walked back to my bed and lifted my leg to get back in and I felt a pop and gush. I was like… nope. But maybe?! I text a few people and was still like unsure. But it kept trickling out. I made Ron come home from work and call Holly. Even still I wasn’t having contractions that made me think- this is it. I have the worst back labor- I would know that pain.
Then it hit.
Ron kept saying, “call Ashley Allyson. Call Holly! Your contractions are every 2-3 minutes!” I’m like noooo it’s too soon- this is too easy. I just KNEW it would be the worst labor based off how horrible this pregnancy was for me. Ashley showed up first and knew she was staying after one contraction. We sent the contraction timer to Holly at 4:08 and she responded “on the way” at 4:11. The birth team showed up at 4:30.
Bellamy was born at 4:52 pm!
Another precipitous labor. It was everything. The birth team, Ashley not only being the photographer, but just her energy and friendship is always the best to have around, my wonderful husband stayed with me the entire time, except setting up the pool in which my sweet Olivia stepped right in and stayed with me! The way I was surrounded by so much love. My boys running around.
It just truly was the most magical experience for me and it being our last birth. It has been almost 72 hours and I am still riding this birth high!
All of the pain, all of the tears, the sickness, oh lord the heartburn- just every negative thought and energy, it all went out the window. Perfection in every form.
Bellamy Alene Miller, our rainbow baby brought earth side on St Pattys day- my biggest little baby at 7 lbs 10 oz, 20 3/4 in!! She is our everything!”